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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773123">Get in the Pool, Doctor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightstorm/pseuds/Nightstorm'>Nightstorm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alien Spas, F/M, Family Fluff, Humor, Immortality Through Jelly Baths, Massages, but it's fun, half crackfic, half serious, idk what's going on</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:20:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,615</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightstorm/pseuds/Nightstorm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with a joke about rejuvenating 68th century spas. Little did the Doctor know that he would end up with a practically immortal mother-in-law in the process.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tenth Doctor &amp; Jackie Tyler, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Get in the Pool, Doctor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildraspberrie/gifts">wildraspberrie</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spot the meme in the title *g* </p>
<p>I'm blaming wildraspberrie for this thing, she prompted it! In a roundabout way. The first part of this fic (the one in italics) is quoted directly from her fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27787504/chapters/68026117">Off With Her Head</a>. Go check it out, if you don't know it yet!<br/>And should there be any confusion, this fic doesn't have anything to do with it beyond me rolling with the idea of an eternally youthful Jackie.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Whatever. How long you two stayin’? I’d like to see my daughter before she’s thirty, you know.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Grouching, the Doctor snarked, “Oh, did I forget to say? Rose is really 439. Those 68<sup>th</sup> century spas, you know?”</em>
</p>
<p><em>“You what?!” Jackie’s screech pierced into the Doctor’s skull like a flying axe and he ducked, hands pressed over his ears protectively. Jackie started to pummel him with a pillow, hurling every invective she knew at him. </em>   (Off With Her Head, Chapter 1)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So… 68<sup>th</sup> century spas? They really that good?”</p>
<p>The Doctor grumbled, still not over the fact that Jackie had hit him with a bloody pillow. <em>Him</em>. With a <em>pillow!</em> He could say with utmost confidence that he had never been assaulted by a companion’s mother with a pillow before, and some firsts just didn’t need to happen, if you asked him. Much like being slapped by a companion’s mother, that had been a first too, also not one he fancied repeating. “Better even,” he muttered when he noticed the dangerous glint in Jackie’s eyes when he didn’t answer right away, and immediately cringed.</p>
<p>Oh no.</p>
<p>“Oooh, you could take me! I could use a spa day. Rose, what do you say, a lovely mother-daughter spa day?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh no. </em>
</p>
<p>“Sounds lovely Mum,” came the cheerful reply from the kitchen of Jackie’s flat, where Rose was currently preparing a pot of tea for them.</p>
<p>“Rooose,” the Doctor whined, hoping against all hope to change her mind, but knew it to be hopeless. He never managed to change her mind about going to the beach every other month or so, and he always relented in the end. This would be no different. If Rose wanted to go to a spa, he would take her to a spa, and if she wanted to bring her mother… Well, he was fairly certain that he wouldn’t be able to leave Jackie behind even if he tried anyway. A mighty Time Lord versus one human Jackie Tyler?</p>
<p>Yeah. He quite liked this regeneration, ta.</p>
<p>Rose entered with a tray in her hands, put it down on the coffee table in front of them and then prepared everyone’s tea, humming softly. “Come on, Doctor, it’ll be fun. It’s been a while since you took me on a real holiday.”</p>
<p>“Fun for you, maybe,” he muttered darkly, accepting his cup with a thanks. “And what do you mean, ‘real holiday’? I took you to the capital of masseurs on Terra Five just a week ago!”</p>
<p>“Which was swarming with malfunctioning, bone-breaking robots,” she reminded him calmy.</p>
<p>“Right,” he winced at the memory of one particular robot hunting him with acupuncture needles and shuddered. “But the beach resort before that–“</p>
<p>“Amphibious sharks that could breathe on land.”</p>
<p>“… The pleasure planet of Hantalo?” he tried weakly, already knowing what Rose would say next.</p>
<p>“A sudden plague of bloodsucking bees.”</p>
<p>“Right…” he said slowly, tugging at his earlobe. “Not the greatest record, is it?”</p>
<p>“Nope,” Rose said happily, popping the ‘p’. “I’d say you owe me.”</p>
<p>“Not sure anymore I want to come,” Jackie said flatly, looking awfully pale at the thought of any of those things.</p>
<p>The Doctor jumped at the opening presented to him. “Yes, better not. Awfully dangerous, most of the time, wouldn’t want to put you into danger, no experience and all that. We might need to stop a revolution next time and knowing you, you’d make it worse!”</p>
<p>Foot, meet mouth.</p>
<p>“<em>I </em>would make it worse?” Jackie challenged, a dangerous note in her voice. The Doctor flinched back and cast a pleading look towards Rose, who studiously ignored him and hid her smile behind her raised cup. “I’ll show you who makes things worse, you numpty!”</p>
<p>The Doctor hastily ducked as Jackie picked up <em>another</em> pillow, fully ready to throw it at his head. “You’re definitely making <em>me</em> worse right now!” he yelled, trying desperately to avoid both her frankly superb aim and spilling tea on the couch in the process.</p>
<p>“Both of you, calm down,” Rose said, shaking her head while vibrating with supressed laughter. “Mum, put that pillow down, he didn’t mean it. Doctor, stop being rude to my mother.”</p>
<p>“He started it!” Jackie complained but complied. The Doctor, halfway below the coffee table at this point, carefully poked his head out again and eyed Jackie warily. She huffed. “Ya can come back out, dumbo, ’m not gonna waste my granny’s pillow on you.”</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t be so sure about that,” the Doctor muttered, so low that he knew human ears wouldn’t be able to pick up on it. Well. Fairly sure. Going by the renewed ire in Jackie’s eyes and Rose’s snort, maybe they had heard or could at least take a good guess.</p>
<p>Fantastic.</p>
<p>“You owe me a spa now, Doctor. One without danger, or rebellions, or bloodsucking bees, if you would.”</p>
<p>“They made red honey out of the blood,” Rose supplied helpfully, still grinning into her cuppa and thoroughly enjoying herself by the looks of it. The Doctor scowled at her which she answered with her irresistible tongue-touched grin, absolutely immune to his bad temper.</p>
<p>The Doctor hung his head and sighed in defeat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can we go now?” whined the Doctor, milling around the whirlpool’s edge, bored out of his mind. Jackie threw him a condescending glare.</p>
<p>“Beauty takes time, love. Stop moaning and get in the pool, Doctor, it’ll relax ya.”</p>
<p>“I’m gonna go find Rose,” he murmured, edging away, sulking. When he was gone, Jackie sighed in relief.</p>
<p>“<em>Finally.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can’t be serious.” The Doctor stared at Jackie in disbelief. “<em>Five weeks?</em>”</p>
<p>Jackie wrinkled her nose. “They said the damage to my tissue was too severe for the treatment to work faster. Can you believe it? Rude they were, ’m telling ya. Calling me old to my face, can you believe it?”</p>
<p>“Nah, you’re in the middle of your best years, not a wrinkle on you. Bet you only need five <em>days</em> max.”</p>
<p>“Aww, that’s sweet of you,” beamed Jackie and then froze, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “You’re not just saying that to hurry me up, are you?”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t dare.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rooose, come on.”</p>
<p>“’m not just gonna dump my mom here and leave, Doctor. Knowing you, she’ll be stuck here for months after you try to return us ‘just an hour’ later.”</p>
<p>“But-“</p>
<p>“Plus, we wanted to take the hot springs tour tomorrow together.”</p>
<p>The Doctor groaned and lowered his head in defeat.</p>
<p>“Just come with us, Doctor. It’ll do ya good.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going into some hot springs with your mother, Rose.”</p>
<p>“Suit yourself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aww, look at you, sweety. Like a cat.”</p>
<p>“’m not a cat,” murmured the Doctor, all but purring when Rose kneaded a tense knot in his shoulders, her human warmth seeping through his Oxford into his body and creating a haze of relaxed pleasure that even Jackie’s presence couldn’t dissipate. “Rose, where did you learn tha– oooh, just there, yes – where did you learn that?”</p>
<p>“Loberio is giving me lessons,” she explained, moving on to his lower back, all but petting him in the process. Not that he minded. Not at all.</p>
<p>“Who’s that, then?” he asked, all but melting under her touch. Oh, he could stay like this forever.</p>
<p>“Just a guy I met,” mumbled Rose, and the Doctor cracked an eye open to look at her, but sadly (well, not really) she was sitting on his bum, making that impossible. Still, a guy she’d just met was teaching her how to do massages? That wasn’t- Well, not that he had any say in it, but-</p>
<p>“She met him at the bar yesterday,” explained Jackie happily from where she was lounging on her towel at the artificial beach, sunglasses and big hat hiding what the Doctor was sure was a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Remember, the one you didn’t want to go to because they didn’t serve banana daquiri? Handsome young man, and so attentive.” She sighed wistfully.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Above him, Rose chuckled, poking him gently into the back until the Doctor squirmed to get away from her probing fingers. “Stop being jealous, Doctor. ‘m not interested in him.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s… nice I suppose. Though I wouldn’t mind… if you were. I mean. Well.”</p>
<p>“And the cat swallowed its tongue,” snickered Jackie from her place off to the side, and the Doctor decided wisely to stop talking now before he dug himself into an even deeper hole.</p>
<p>Not that the thought of Rose in a slinky bikini on top of him helped.</p>
<p><em>Especially </em>not when Rose leaned forward to whisper into his ear. “Next time I massage you, I could use some oil. Of course, you’d have to take off your shirt for that. What d’you say?”</p>
<p>He squeaked, and both Rose and Jackie laughed at his embarrassment.</p>
<p>This was the worst, most pleasant torture he’d ever been put through.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally, after over a <em>week</em> of lounging and sunbathing and boredom, he managed to pry Jackie away from the resort. Well, Rose did, since he didn’t dare step between Jackie and her rejuvenating gel baths (“They look like pods with purple jelly. It’s disgusting, really, but you go in and come out looking younger every day!”) (She did not look younger, but he didn’t dare contradict her).</p>
<p>After dropping Jackie off at the estates and promising her to return soon and take her on another spa trip (he was resolute not to), the Doctor took the TARDIS into the vortex and then flopped onto the jumpseat, absolutely exhausted. Tiredly raking his hands through his hair he sighed and Rose grinned.</p>
<p>“Need a nice revolution or megalomaniac would-be emperor to relax after spending time with my mother?” she teased, tongue between her teeth.</p>
<p>“… Yes please...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He thought he’d already experienced the worst torture in the world.</p>
<p>He had never been more wrong in all his lives.</p>
<p><em>This</em> was true torture.</p>
<p>Rose’s hands moving across his bare back, slick from the subtly fragranced oil. The scent of roses in the air, combined with the scent of Rose on him. Her quiet humming of a happy tune he didn’t know, but that he loved simply because it meant that she was enjoying herself as much as he was enjoying her bare skin on his.</p>
<p>He should probably tell her that for a touch-telepath like him, skin contact like this was really a rather intimate thing…</p>
<p>… Oooh, that felt good, juuuust theeere…</p>
<p>“You’re purring again,” whispered Rose, pausing in her steady motions to listen to the soft sounds he made that he hadn’t even been aware of.</p>
<p> “Don’t stop,” he whined, not caring that he was practically begging her to continue touching him. After a second’s hesitation she complied, and the Doctor sighed with happiness. But something was different, her touches lighter, more exploring, more intentional.</p>
<p>Was she… petting him?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t even surprise him when that night ended with a lot more mutual petting than he’d bargained for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank God you finally shagged. About time.”</p>
<p>“MUM!” A teacup clattered onto some kind of surface and in the kitchen the Doctor froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding car.</p>
<p>“What? Everyone knew it would happen, no reason to be all embarrassed now.”</p>
<p>“That’s not- Why- Oh my God,” groaned Rose, the sound muffled as if she were hiding her face. She probably was. Rassilon knew <em>his</em> face was flaming, and he had superior control over his bodily functions.</p>
<p>More clattering teacups, then Jackie talked again, much more softly but still easily audible for the Doctor’s fine ears. “I’m happy for you, love. The tension between you was driving me spare. Not that Howard was complaining…”</p>
<p>“<em>Mum</em>.”</p>
<p>“Anyway, you promised me another trip to that spa place, what was it called? Luxspatrio-something?”</p>
<p>“Luxbaditiogudabendala,” mumbled Rose, embarrassment still audible in her voice. “And we we’re gonna go to Barcelona next – the planet, not the city – so I really don’t know-“</p>
<p>“I saw flyers for couple activities last time we were there. Private spas, Kamasutra classes…”</p>
<p>Distantly, the Doctor wondered if another week at the resort would really be the worst thing that could happen to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It soon became a habit; have a few taxing adventures, save the day a few times a week, run from the latest mop of enraged locals, and whenever either of them felt like they needed a proper break, they would pick Jackie up and visit the resorts of Luxbaditiogudabendala (Lux for short).</p>
<p>On the plus side, the regular jelly baths considerably slowed down Rose’s aging, especially since her brief but deep exposure to all of Time had apparently already altered her cells to the point where they were barely decaying anyway. In fact, she was aging slower than even a Time Lord now, which suited him just fine.</p>
<p>On the downside, Jackie also took those baths religiously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why is the banner saying forty? You’re sixty-two!”</p>
<p>“Yes, but my guests don’t need to know that, do they? Can’t exactly tell them I spend half of my time laying on a beach on an alien planet. Bad enough they wonder how I manage to be so tanned all the time.”</p>
<p>“… Fair point.”</p>
<p>“Good. Now help me hang up the balloons, we only have an hour left before the guests arrive. And no, you’re not leaving before midnight at least!”</p>
<p>The Doctor muttered something under his breath, but dutifully helped his mother-in-law hang up her bright pink balloons in her newly acquired house in one of the better areas of London.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re one hundred and nine! What is he, fifty?”</p>
<p>“Yes, so what? You’re nine hundred years older than my daughter! And he’s a nice man. Fixed my toaster last night after you tinkered with it, <em>again</em>.”</p>
<p>The Doctor sniffed. “It was broken before I tried to repair it. Toasters of this century are just rubbish and way too sensitive.”</p>
<p>“Sure they are, love. Don’t you dare touch it ever again.”</p>
<p>Slowly, the Doctor’s hand crept away from the toaster and back into his lap. He could inspect it another time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I said, <em>don’t touch my toaster.”</em></p>
<p>“… Sorry?”</p>
<p>“It’s singing the chicken dance! <em>On loop!” </em></p>
<p>“Did you try putting a toast into it to shut it up?”</p>
<p>“Doctor, get back here or I swear to God-“</p>
<p>Hastily the Doctor ended the call and smiled sheepishly at Rose, who was sitting at the galley table, barely able to contain her laughter.</p>
<p>“I think we should avoid your mother for a while,” he said, ducking his head as the phone in his hand began to ring ominously, flashing Jackie’s name.</p>
<p>“Next time, maybe make it play a song she likes,” suggested Rose, bursting into laughter as the Doctor grumbled and picked up the phone again to let Jackie yell at him as much as she wanted.</p>
<p>Better now when he was safely floating in the vortex than when they were next scheduled for Sunday dinner. He didn’t particularly fancy ending up as the Sunday roast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The years passed, and while they weren’t always happy (sometimes so far from it he thought they might never get better again), he couldn’t say he regretted any of them.</p>
<p>Not when they’d brought him here, to the edge of a pool from where he could watch his family play in the water, enjoying themselves to their hearts content, and when the woman he loved more than anything swam towards him and pulled him into the water, he couldn’t have been happier.</p>
<p>Sometimes, he though, a few moments of domesticity weren’t so bad after all.</p>
<p>“Doctor, don’t go swimming with your clothes-! Oh, why do I even bother…”</p>
<p>Especially if he managed to rile up Jackie in the process.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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